ELIN NORDEGREN PROVES THAT SHE'S WORTH EVERY CENT SHE GOT, THAT TIGER IS A MORON

After having had two children with golf superstar Tiger Woods, rightfully beating the shit out of him when she caught onto just how many golf bunnies he was screwing on the side (I think it had more to do with the fact that so many of them were ugly skanks, proving Tiger to be the Bill Clinton of cheating) and then making off with $750 MILLION of his bank account, Elin Nordegren is busy having the last laugh by moving on with her life and looking impossibly perfect while doing it. Seen on the beach in the Bahamas, the 33-year old mom of Sam (5 years old) and Charlie (3 years old) soaked up the sun and well... damn. DAY-YUM. I don't think that the money was something that made her look better, she was a model when she met Tiger, but how... I mean really, HOW could someone, anyone cheat on a woman who looks this good? If I had a dick, it'd be boner city around her all day, every day. Goes to prove the old saying that it is never about having *new* pussy, it's about having *different* pussy. Which leaves you being nothing but a pussy. (P.S.: I really loathe Kobe Bryant as well, so have at.)