Hayley Atwell and her motorboatable cleavage could never be out of style

As she puts on her best Austin Powers, "Do I make you horny, baby?" face at the Instyle Magazine bash for the Best British Talent party, Hayley Atwell knew all eyes were on her. Considering that in 2011, us MovieHottie geniuses put our heads together and decided she was #1 on our "Top 25 Hottest of 2011," and then didn't even feature her on the list at all in 2012, I get this feeling that she's laughing at us now. Atwell has a fantastic body, one with curves that are all natural but a healthy (and I don't mean that in the healthy-skinny bullshit vibe that calling a woman "healthy" looking has gotten lately - I mean, quite sincerely, she looks HEALTHY) alternative to some of the fake breasts, nose jobs and other nonsense that women in the industry go through. She's interesting, she has that accent, her body makes me wish I had a penis to entice her with. Enough said.

Dakota Fanning teaches some lessons about how to be young and posing for Glamour

In comparison to Glamour Germany's shoot with Taylor Swift, the USA is hauling out some more titillating images when it comes to the nearly 19-year old Dakota Fanning. The star of Sundance's popular VERY GOOD GIRLS has been working furiously to get herself back in the game like she used to be some wild 10 years ago when I think the entire world was convinced that she was the only working child actress for a span of what stretched forever by Hollywood standards. But her parents did the right thing and pulled her out of the acting game so she could attend high school like a "normal" millionaire kid, thus allowing her younger sister Elle Fanning to take over for awhile as the young face everyone wanted to see. But it's been back to work for Dakota since she signed onto the TWILIGHT movies and her resume is a thick slate of 2013 upcoming releases. She's looking pretty good in this grown-up version, although I would say that given a few more years, comparing Dakota and Elle will not favor the elder sister so well.

Eva Longoria might wear her heart on her sleeve, but her politics are all over her ass

Here's a little dilemma for my fellow ass fans who might also have been Romney votes. Apparently excellent ass holder Eva Longoria has no problem advocating her approval for an Obama second term, voicing her sentiments on the broadest of billboards in town. It might be a little late for turning one's ass into a political statement. After all, Obama's already won the big chair again and Romney's living in isolation in some cave in Utah, counting his money. Still, I like her style. That's the kind of message we can all get behind. Even if you hate Obama, you can at least get something out of the delivery method she's chosen here. I wonder if Michelle has a pair of these. How awesome would that be?

Carla Gugino will make your House of Cards fall

I've been watching the new season of "House of Lies" since it started, though hardly paying much attention (as I hardly know what the f*ck is going on), but I'm liking it alright. It's got a decent cast, and I felt compelled to try to get into it after Don Cheadle beat out my man Louis C.K. for the Golden Globe for "Best Actor in a Television Series- Comedy/Musical. While I still feel Louis deserved it, Cheadle displays a fair amount of comedic chops on the program. It also doesn't hurt that the show includes hotties like Kristen Bell and Carla Gugino. My god, it seems like Carla Gugino start aging backwards like Benjamin Button at one point. She was a total fox at the "House of Lies" premiere, not shying her bosoms away from the camera in the slightest. I've always found Carla attractive for an older woman, but now I think I'm starting to catch up to her. I'd sure like to popper those penguins.

George, I think booting out Elisabetta Canalis might have been a bit drastic

Yet another hottie with her own clothing line, Elisabetta Canalis has released some photos of her showing off her goods while showing off her goods. Not bad, I guess. I can never tell the difference between these supposedly different makes of lingerie. If you held this shit up next to something at Walmart, I couldn't distinguish the two. Of course, Elisabetta is the real stand out here. A lot of folks might only know her for being The Clooney's leavings, but I like to think of her as one of his biggest bungles. Sure, Stacey Keibler seems like a nice person, but give me the dark, Italian goddesses like Elisabetta any day. Does she look like a wildcat or what? I'll bet she could put you in intensive care. Which is probably why George had to let her go. He's not getting any younger.

Jennifer Nicole Lee was on the set of an actual photoshoot for once!

Seems like it's been a while since I've gotten to post about milfy fitness guru Jennifer Nicole Lee. Actually, it's only been a few weeks, but it seems like this woman used to be out there practically everyday, using her bikini-clad ass as camera bait (or paying her friends to take "candids" at the park). So where has she been hiding? Well, it appears JNL has actually found herself a real-life camera crew, and is ready to take that next step into the modeling world. In other words, she's finally acknowledging the cameras, as apposed to pretending they're invisible, like she has in the past. Of course, these are just candids of JNL on the set of the shoot, so we'll still have to wait a little while before seeing how the touched-up, "professional" photos look. Let's hope they don't enhance to0 much, though. It looks like Jennifer has (heaven forbid) GAINED a couple pounds, but I think they look great on her. Perhaps she's finally come to the realization that "tone" is better than "hard as a rock". Although "hard as a rock" would be an accurate description of myself at this very moment.

Zooey Deschanel really needs to Old Girl these crazy eyed poses of hers

At one point, I was totally down with Zooey Deschanel being the next huge "It Girl" in Hollywood but then I found myself wandering into Unpopular Opinion territory. I'll say one thing, I have not yet watched an episode of "New Girl," but dammit, the crazy-eyed look that Zooey keeps flashing the camera on red carpets and events like this one held by Glamour magazine in honor of Cindi Leive isn't doing her any favors. I start to wonder what happened to the girl who was quirky and kinda foul-mouthed, which was cool because she looked too pretty to be saying some of the shit that she did. (Perfect example, Zooey in THE GOOD GIRL.) Now that her fans have turned sycophantic and believe she's going to shit a golden turd, I don't get it. Gone is that girl from before. Just like women don't find men who live at home to be rustic or intriguing or cute after the age of 30, neither should men give women that benefit either. Lena Dunham is perfectly illustrating that on "Girls." I guess I prefer that odd realism to that of a "New Girl."

If Emily Ratajkowski isn't getting all over your face, she doesn't belong at your place

Isn't that how that slogan goes? Well it should be, particularly when discussing the delights of model Emily Ratajkowski, captured here in a fitting for her latest sexified Carl's Jr. commercial. Of course, that's Hardee's to all of you living east of the Rocky Mountains. It's also nonsense to folks living outside the US. For those of you clueless, these are the dual names of burger joints who contribute considerably to that whole fat American phenomenon I'm sure you've heard about. They specialize in greasy, sloppy, nasty, heart valve-clogging burgers that are also infuriatingly tasty. As are the models they choose for their advertising campaigns - campaigns that often consist of gorgeous models shoving said nasty burgers into their faces while undulating in slo-mo. The irony is that most of them have probably never eaten anything like that in their lives and most likely fasted for a week just from being in proximity to these slop burgers. The one exception being Kate Upton, who I get the impression is a regular customer at this place. Thus the reason for her fluctuating weight. She can't get enough of those Famous Stars.