DOUTZEN KROES EXPERIENCES ONE OF THE (UN)FORTUNATE DRAWBACKS TO BRINGING THE KIDS TO THE BEACH

It's been awhile since I had to look after any little kids, but one thing I remember about the process was that it's basically nothing but constant bending over. You're always having to bend over to pick them up or clean them off or turn them around. They're short little pains in the ass who busy themselves most of the day with finding ways to potentially get themselves killed in any number of gruesome ways, from drinking bleach to sticking metal in electric sockets to swallowing sharp, pointy things. A parent's job is to bend over and grab these little suicide machines before they do themselves in. Just one more reason I'm so glad I never had kids, as I think more than an afternoon of chasing rug rats around, attempting to thwart their inadvertent attempts at harakiri, would exhaust me to the point of resignation to their death wishes, just for a moment's peace. Thankfully Doutzen Kroes is a better guardian than I am. Unfortunately for her, but fortunate for us, she must have forgot about all those bending over duties when she put on the bikini that rides up the ass. Either that or she's the coolest mom ever. That kid's going to have lots of friends when he gets older.